Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
