playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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