Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
