I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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