I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You need a sexual gate keeper
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize