Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
