Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
