I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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