i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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