when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
