you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
