They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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