Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
