if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
