Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
