Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
