Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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