i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
