Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
