i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
