The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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