I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
