didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
