well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
