Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
