The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
