I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My vagina just clenched in fear
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
