Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
