does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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