The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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