I just saw a hot homeless man
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
