We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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