D3 body, D1 cock
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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