But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
