I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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