Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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