Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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