I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
