i think my mom watched the whole time
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
