every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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