ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
