Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
