He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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