In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
