i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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