My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You smell like stripper and shame
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
