It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
