And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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