I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
