Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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