we're blogging at a bar
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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