She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he thought i was a dude.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
