trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
