I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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