im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
