Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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