Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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