Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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