I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
